Since I was sixteen I have always been busy. Try imagining an internet browser with at least ten tabs open at once and that is exactly how my day would be. Organised but messy busy but enjoyable. Overtime I have realised I am a little bit addicted to the buzz of feeling busy gives you.
Now whether or not you think this is a good thing is your prerogative. For me personally, I realised being busy was a way for me to cope with other aspects in my life to allow me to be the best person to those around me. (Did I mention I was a bit of a people pleaser). Being busy allowed me to be a good friend, a good daughter and much more while allowing me my own little slice of being independence without feeling selfish.
Let me explain, say for example I would be helping out at the local youth club. I would be spending time making a difference while also spending time with friends. When I was volunteering I would be away for a few days at a time occasionally. All of these trips were jam packed full and we collectively accomplished some great things but it was fun. I was with friends so I did not feel too guilty about leaving my town for few days. If I had gone on a girls holiday I would have been ridden with guilt the whole time I was there.
Being busy can keep you sane, it keeps you in check and allows you perspective. It helps clear your mind in the same exercise can help clear your head. Have I overdone it occasionally and bitten off more than I can chew? Of course I have.
Over the years I had to learn that it is ok to just sit down and live in the present. I thought once I found my career and settled down in to adult life, that somehow I would slow down and I wouldn’t feel the need to be constantly busy or switched one. Almost as if being busy was filling a void that was missing in my life. Safe to say that hasn’t happened just yet.
Over the past few months, I have made some changes to help bridge that gap and curb my addiction to being busy. I have learnt spending an afternoon watching movies is not the worst thing to do in the world and sometimes your body and mind needs that.
I realised you can end up using your addiction to being busy to mask a lot of internal struggles something which I am slowly unpicking. Do not get me wrong I don’t think the buzz of busy will ever go away but the intention of being busy needs to be adjusted slightly.
What is your relationship to being busy? Is it something you are addicted too?