When I heard Lily was writing a book on friendship I instantly screamed Hallelujah. As someone who understands the importance of being in-tune with the friendships you have and how they change over time is something which resonated. having followed Lily for years, I knew there was no one better to talk about the topic than her. The F Word explores the passion, love and development of friendship from the first friend you make to navigating friendship as an adult.
The book starts off by talking about the first friend Lily made and how it set the precedence for the other friendships in her life.
A lot of the book resonated me, especially the idea not having one particular ‘Best Friend’. Until I was 16, I had what Lily described in her book as Best Friends For Now, and friends I was close too so it was very interesting to hear her prerogative on this and how it is ok to not have one best friend.
She also described friendship in a similar way you would describe a romantic relationship. You know girl who you click with, you exchange numbers and the moment you are back home you want to text them to arrange a time to hang out. Or you speak to someone online and know you would be great friends offline but too scared to make the next move? Lily compares this to the same feeling you get when you start a romantic relationship. (The scenes between Monica and Rachel when they are saying goodbye in series 10 is an example of that) I have never really experienced romantic love but I have experienced friendship love and completely agree with it.
Friendship is such a wide topic there is a lot you can talk about but Lily does a good job at covering all the different aspects of friendship – from toxic friendship to dealing with long distance friendship. Something which I touched upon here. She has different names for them all which I also adore. One that stands out for me is what she calls the Jelly Fish friend.
Another key area which resonated with me (can you tell I totally related to the book?) was when Lily opened up about how friendship evolves – especially when you are in different life stages. I am at that age where my friendship group are all at different life stages. Some of us are focusing on careers, others are married, others have children but we all make an effort to try and make the friendship work. Lily offers some great tips and advice on how to do this too which I found useful.
The bond between sisters is a weird one – are you friends? are you just close because you’re blood? As someone who has a younger sister, with a six year gap between us, this intrigued me and made me feel more comfortable with the relationship we have.
The book primarily focuses on female friendships but there is a chapter dedicated to male friendships which I really liked. I grew up with cousins who were males and I thought of myself more of a tomboy rather than a girls girl so this chapter made me smile. If you ever think men and women cannot be friends, this chapter may have you rethink that logic.
I literally read The F Word in 8 hours. It was an intriguing, personal, honest, raw and captivating insight into female friendship. Something which until recently had an air of mystery surrounding it. If you haven’t read The F Word yet, I can honestly say it will leave you fist pumping, laughing, crying and everything in between.