I have always been proud of the fact I am a positive confident person, growing up I was always sure of who I was as a person and was very content within myself and who I am. Entering my twenties however, things changed, my confidence fell, I grew anxious and my confidence dwindled. The girl who once never stopped smiling suddenly did not smile as much, she started to stay at home and made excuses to stay away from her friends and family. I turned in to a girl I can barely recognise. This is not a pity party though and I do not want any sympathy. I am on my way to building myself back up. This girl is on a journey self love and I want to bring you with me.
Why do I want to share this with you? because I know I am not the only one who has gone through something like this. We all have times when we fall out of love with ourselves and it not something to be taken lightly. It affects your moods, the way you interact with others and how you live your life.
Quite frankly, I am fed with up with living like this. I want to be happy within my self again. I want to be the fun lively girl who has bags of energy and is happier within herself so she can be the best version of herself. Not just for myself but for her friends and family.
I’ve realised the way you look at yourself and see yourself, reflects on how you come across to others. It also reflects on how you feel others view you. When my confidence dipped and I grew in too a shell, I became very quiet, reserved. I found myself constantly apologising for small things I do not have to apologise for. When I talked my voice would tremor because I was scared of voicing my opinion (which is silly as I write my opinions on a regular basis) In short I grew very anxious in my environment.
A lot of this is linked to the state my mind has been in over the past few years. It has taken a lot to admit how life events have affected me. Mental Health is not something I speak about often but it has become a vitally crucial part of my life.
Changing your state of mind is no simple feat, it takes time, dedication and devotion. I started this journey of self love a few weeks ago and on World Mental Health Day I wanted to share this with you, incase you have gone through a similar thing. I know it can feel like the world may be swallowing you up and no one understands you. I want you know, you are not alone. There are people out there (myself included) who are more than happy and willing to help you and listen to you as you figure things out.
How have I started to figure things out? I first did the below three things.
Admit everything was ok – They say admitting to a problem is half the battle and when it comes to Mental Health, this is certainly the case.
Our Vibe Attracts Your Tribe – This is something I have started to live by. the influences you have in your life affect your mind set. I began to realise there are some things and even people who have a negative impact on my life. Once I realised this, I started to seek spending time with those positive influences in my life. Those who encourage my dreams rather than tear them down without any reason.
Living in the Present – By this I mean taking everything in and taking it in as it happens. From the wonderful opportunities presented to me through blogging to spending time with my Grandparents. Even spending some time by myself after a long day. I will never underestimate the need to take a step back and slow things downs from time to time.
There are time when all the above may seem a bit selfish, as someone who is a people pleaser I definitely felt this at times, however I know I am at my best for others around me when I am happy within myself. Only when I can be happy within myself and essentially love myself can I be of any value to those around me. So please trust me when I say this, it is not selfish for you to spend half an hour a day reading or a couple of hours away from work on your laptop in favour of spending time with your parents. In fact your soul will thank you for it.
I know this was not my usual fun filled blogpost you were expecting for a Monday but as it is World Mental Health Day I really wanted to share a part of my life I have kept hidden for a while in the hope we can go on this Journey of Self Love together.