I love socialising and people but I also love spending time on my own. As an extroverted introvert this is where I get most of my energy from. We all experience FOMO or the fear of missing out but there are also times when I experience JOMO or what is called The Joy of Missing Out.
What is the Joy of Missing Out?
To me, JOMO is essentially the opposite of the FOMO. It is the joy you feel when you get invited to something, you do not want to attend and saying no.
It is all about focusing on where you spend your time and being more in-tune with yourself and where you want to spend your time. An example I would give is, being invited to a social activity where you may feel uncomfortable and would rather be at home with a cup of tea watching an box set. (Can you tell this is based on a true story) I know I might hear about it later or see across social media but I would feel better knowing I wasn’t there but doing something that reenergises me and gives me something rather than investing in something which may do the opposite and make me wonder why I put myself through that.
Why do I mention it? This time of year is full of activities which are suppose to be fun but can feel like obligations, resulting in them becoming something you have to do rather than being something you choose to do. It can land you in a tricky mindset. If you torn between having to say yes but wanting to say no you need to gage how big the feeling of JOMO would be.
Here are three questions to ask yourself:
Will it bring you value? What will you gain from attending the activity? from spending time with friends and family (which to me is a big bonus) or is there something else you would get from attending a talk or event.
What will happen if you say no? We often get scared of saying no in fear of the repercussions, so think of the worse case scenario ahead of time. Often you will find it is not as bad as you may think.
Ultimately, think about what would bring you more joy? Going home after a long day of work rather than that drink? or staying home instead of going to the cinema? Does the activity feel forced? If the answer is yes, instead of doing what you THINK you need to do, focus on what you WANT to do with people and in situations in which make you feel happy. Trust me, you will feel better for it.