You must be lonely | Lifestyle

11th July 2019 by naffy

Copy of Exploring London-2 I am at the age where there is pressure to have certain parts of my life in place. While admittedly, this comes from a place of love, I put this down to others feeling I will be alone.

Here is the thing, I have never once said I am lonely. Hell, I get the majority of my energy from being on my own. I revel in ending the night on my own with Netflix and a cup of tea. Yes, I am alone but ultimately, I am not lonely.

I have felt loneliness so trust me when I say this is nothing to worry about at this moment. In fact, I feel the contrary, I am surrounded by people who support me and love.

The pressures I am of course talking about include marriage. We are conditioned to feel like having that one person to spend your life with equates to a lifetime of happiness and yes, it does bring happiness and fulfillment in peoples lives but it is not the only way to be happy. It is also not something you should feel the pressured to achieve by a certain age.

I see it like this, I am lucky. There are other relationships in my life, with my parents, my sister, and friends (who, funnily enough, are not the ones who bring it up) where I receive the same happiness and feeling of content and ease as I would with a husband.

Here is the other thing. We mistake being alone with feeling lonely but that is not always the case. They are two separate things. You can do things on your own and not feel lonely. I have spent entire days out of the house on my own, doing the weekly shop, walking down the high street, visiting the cinema, or grabbing a bite to eat. Do not get it twisted, all of these things I enjoy doing with friends and family too but what happens if they are busy or they change their mind about going to do something I really want to do? or what if that day I just want to be on my own?

If therapy taught me anything it is understanding how you feel. There is a clear distinction between feeling lonely and isolated (which is unhealthy) to just being on your own for the evening (which is sometimes healthy)

Yes, I can be a bit of a loner but thankfully, I am at the stage in my life where I am content in my own body, doing my own thing. So to answer those who insist I am lonely, I am happy to report I am anything but.

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