I have a confession. I am scared of failing. Every time I go do something and there is a chance of me failure I literally cripple under the idea that I would fail thus letting my parents, family or friends down. It took me a good few years and a lot of self reflection to come to terms with the idea that life will come with its both its successes and its failures.
We equate failure to people who are weak and are not deemed successful to societies standard. But we forget inspirational people such as Walt Disney, Richard Branson, Oprah and Hilary Clinton have failed at something. That does not mean they are not inspirational rather it is the opposite, they are inspiring BECAUSE they went through those hurdles. So to start the conversation where we can air our conversation, I thought I would share five ways I have failed.
My GCSE Results
Technically, I did not fail my GCSE’s they got me into sixth form and thus served their purpose. However, I should have gotten better grades. I love learning and was very good at answering questions in lessons. Stick me in an exam situation though and something changes. I suffer with Turner Syndrome which essentially means I should prepared better in order to be in a better position to take my exams. I took comfort in the fact I was on track and thus ultimately was a bit lazy and failed to get some of my predicted grades. I can tell you exactly where I was when I got my results and the gut wrenching feeling I felt as I had to ring my parents to give them the bad news.
I grew up watching football. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up. I grew up alongside my cousins (who were boys) in the family and I would be jealous of them when they would head to the park to kick a ball around with their friends. My best friend in primary school was amazing at football. I feel like I grew up a bit too self conscious. I would try and play football but I was too scared about looking silly to actually be able to do the game justice. It is was the same with most other sport apart from martial arts but not being a good at football to even play on my school team hurt the most.
My dad has always been good at maths and growing up he was the person I wanted to be so imagine how much it sucked when I realised it is not my cup of tea. I have accepted maths and numbers are not my forte but it still remains something I actually regret.
Supporting my parents
I imagined by the time I was 27, I would be in the position to support my parents financially. I do what I can but I have very little to my name and it really pains me that I can’t do more. I know my sister thinks the same and it genuinely breaks my heart. I hope to one day still be able to achieve this but when that will happen I have no idea.
As a muslim girl, growing up I attended mosque regularly until I was 16. Just like in school we would receive exams to see how much we have learnt about a certain topic. (Just to make you aware the exams were just to make sure we retained enough information to move on to the next stage of our religious education that is all) Memorising things were a big part of this – something growing up I found extremely hard and affected my results. I would always end up placing 20th in a class of 25.
This is just the tip of the ice burg.Will I carry on failing? you bet! The difference is I am not going to let my failures affect my confidence. I am going to work hard to dust myself off and learn from them. Only then can you grow and achieve your goals.