I have never really been someone who has cared about their age. I enjoyed birthdays but that was mainly because it gave me an excuse to hang out with my favourite people and have fun. I didn’t hold any affinity to the number of age. I turned 28 without any fuss and quite content. However, of the past couple of months, something happened. I came to the sudden realisation that I am almost thirty. GULP
Now, I don’t subscribe to the notion that we need to reach certain milestones at certain times in our lives based on societies norms and values but that didn’t stop me from having a vision of how I expected my life to turn out or where I see myself when I am thirty years old.
I suddenly find people around me are looking to buy houses, get promotions, and starting families. Essentially they appear to be moving into the next phase of their lives and when that happens it creates a certain fear and insecurity within yourself. You start to questions the moves you are making in your own life, be it in your career or your personal life. It meant for once, the thought of a birthday approaching invoked fear in me.
What does one do when this happens? Well, initially, I shrugged the feeling off. I knew where I was heading but the more I thought about it and the more life happened, the imposter syndrome and self-sabotage started to sink in and seeped through my daily activities and plans.
I know I am not the only one who has felt like this. Your twenties are filled with uncertainty and unpredictability so it is natural to feel like this as you are approaching the next decade of your life is normal.
After having this whirl through my brain for a long time, in a classic Rory Gilmore move, I started to create lists. Lists of goals, for how I want to spend the remainder of my twenties. They helped to make sense of what I was feeling inside, the not feeling good enough, the feeling of being a failure and channeling it into something I found to be productive and could be actioned.
I realised there is something unsettling about being almost thirty and that is ok. You are still in your confusing unnerving twenties striving to reach the stability being thirty is said to bring and with that comes the natural pressure to of making the remaining years of your twenties prepare you for that.
We have to remember that turning thirty may be significant in many ways but how we view it is in our control. We need to not let the pressure of turning 30 affect our outlook on life and instead embrace the new decade with open arms regardless of where we are in life. After all, anything short of that is a waste of energy.